The empress' new clothes

At the moment, I'm topless.

No, not literally.  I'm wearing a raggedy old SpongeBob shirt.  But I don't have the new shirts I ordered.

I'm not big on clothes shopping so once I find something I like I tend to get multiples to save me from having to do it again any time soon.

A couple of weeks ago, I was waiting for a prescription to be filled at Kmart and found some v-neck t-shirts.  They are great because they fit well without being too tight or baggy.  The sleeves are not cap sleeves, but not overly long.  The length is just right.  In the store, they only had a couple colors in my size so several days later I went to Kmart.com to check out the selection.

I ended up buying 4 more t-shirts, plus a tank top in the same brand/style family.  When I went to checkout, I was pleasantly surprised by a notice stating that I would get free shipping for buying 5 items.

The package was delivered by UPS yesterday.  A huge box, but lightweight.  There were more air-pillows than clothes inside.  Unfortunately, the stuff inside was not mine.  It was all extra-small junior sized clothing.  Teeny, tiny white capris.  An itty bitty bedazzled tank top with dental floss for straps.   You get the picture.  The packing slip said they were meant for a woman in Arkansas.  Poor, malnourished little girl.  ;-)

I suspect the shipping labels were simply mixed up and that right about now she is looking my clothing and thinking, "Those gals in Wisconsin eat too much cheese."

I proceeded to spend 25 minutes on the phone with customer service.  The CS rep was nice, but I think she was new.  UPS is supposed to pick up the package, at which time I will be refunded.  I haven't received the notice form UPS yet.

In order to get the clothes I was meant to have, I had to repeat the order and pay a second time.  They've already shipped my order, so it should be here on Monday.

NKOTBSB

Okay, so my core musical tastes haven't really evolved much since high school.  I do like many different kinds of music, but there are just certain things that take you for a happy ride in the WayBack Machine.

You know I had to pre-order the New Kids On The Block / Backstreet Boys combo album.  I'm going to play this in the car the next time we take a trip out of town, to see if Mark's ears bleed.

It was released (and delivered) today.  I also just saw that Matthew Morrison of GLEE fame is joining them on tour.  That sent me into fits of immature giggles.

The CD comes with a poster of the cover art, minus the lettering.  The back has the 2011 Tour schedule.  It doesn't look like they are coming anywhere near me.  There is also a booklet with some words from each member.  The disc is scratched, which is annoying as hell.  It makes me want to show up at the packing warehouse and issue a QA smackdown.  It plays though, so the beating is averted.

Friends don't let friends make Bad Choices

I propose a 24 hour waiting period on the sale of permanent hair dye, and it should require the signature of a reliable friend who will not allow you to choose a stupid color.

I'm not generally one to color my hair, but for some reason it seemed like a great idea yesterday.  Yeah.  Great like sticking a fork in an outlet.

I decided that I wanted to add red to my brown hair so I chose Revlon ColorSilk 49 - Auburn Brown.   Since my hair is dark brown, I thought the red would be a bit more subtle than shown on the box, since the samples on the back were for blonde and light brown hair.  This dye is not supposed to lighten hair, it adds darker pigments.

What happened to my head did not resemble the picture on the box.  There were solid streaks of red and chunks of dark brown.  It did not have the look of intentional multi-color hair.  It looked like I mixed Kool-Aid and shoe polish in a toilet, shoved my head in, and flushed.

This morning, I had to make the walk of shame back to Walgreens and I picked up a box of Color Oops:

It says that it removes hair dye by shrinking the pigments so that you can wash it out.  It is not a bleach.  You put the solution on your head for 20 minutes, then spend another 20-30 minutes of shampooing and rinsing.  They stress that rinsing for a long, long time is essential.  I used up all of the hot water by the time I was done.

The good news is, my hair is no longer full of bright red and dark brown stripes.  Everything seems to be evened out.  It also doesn't seem to be damaged by the process.  A little dry from all the washing, but nothing some good conditioner can't handle.

The not-quite-so-good news is that despite the fact that neither product was meant to lighten hair, I somehow have lighter hair.  It reminds me of when I was a kid and would spend hours at the pool.  The sun would lighten my hair and give it a reddish cast.   I can live with this.  If it looks funny as it starts to grow, I'll have it dyed darker at a proper salon.

BEFORE

AFTER

UPDATE!  My hair darkened overnight.  This morning, it was almost exactly the same as before this whole mess began.  It has just a hint of red in it, which is what I wanted all along. I don't know why or how it happened, but I'm happy about it.

The day AFTER after!

After School Special - puberty edition

Our conversation on the walk home from school:

Eric, looking traumatized:  Mom!  We learned about girl-puberty today.  All the boys and girls sat in the same room and watched a video.  *uncomfortable silence*
Me:  And how was it?
Eric:  It was SO disgusting.  There were diagrams of girl privates and they talked about...gross stuff....
Me:  Like periods?
Eric:  UGH!!! Yes. Why?!  I don't need to know about that.
Ethan:  What is a period?
Eric:  NO!  No don't tell him!  You don't want to know?!?!
Ethan:  Yes I do.  What is it?
Me:  Well you know how girls have eggs inside?
Ethan:  *giggles* They DO?!
Me:  *sigh*  Yes, you know that.  Remember?
Ethan:  Oh, yeah...
Me:  So every month when an egg isn't going to be a baby, it gets flushed out along with blood.
Ethan:  Girls poop out eggs?
Me:  Noooo....you know how girls and boys have different parts?  Girls have parts for that sort of thing.
Ethan:  Oh, okay....Hey, look at this cool rock I found.
Eric:  I can't believe they did that to us.
Me:  Did they show boy diagrams?
Eric:  No.  *heavy sigh*  They are making us do that tomorrow.  With girls in the room.
Me:  So what did you think about the information?
Eric:  Nasty barfaroni and cheese!!!!!  I don't need to know all this stuff about crotches!
<pause>
Eric:  I heard "barfaroni and cheese" on Phineas and Ferb.  Hey Ethan, want to play Pirates of the Caribbean Life?  After we have a snack.

And we're back to our regularly scheduled trauma-free program.